Am I My Sister's Keeper?

Reunited and it feels so good... Yes, I'm back and reunited with blogging. It's been over three months since I started this blog and over three months since my last post. When I started blogging, I just knew that I'd be able to post once a week, but life happens to all of us. In my last blog I asked a question: "Are you your sister's keeper" and out of 23 people who responded to the poll, 100% responded, "yes". There were those who said "yes" with conditions, but I was pleasantly surprised by the results. I believe that we are our sister's keeper. It's the only way we can heal ourselves, our families, our nation and our world. But what does being your sister's keeper really mean?

Over the past three months, I have witnessed many acts of sisters "keeping" each other. I have watched a sister-friend bring over an entire home cooked meal for another sister who was ill with the flu. I have read emails, letters and cards from women who just wanted to encourage another sister and her family. I have heard women in the grocery store schooling their young daughters on how to pick out the best yams, and get the best price for turkey. I even overheard another sister lovingly "check" another sister for missing a doctor's appointment because she "just didn't have time to go". The most impactful act that I witnessed first hand was a "Girl Power" event that I attended for women and girls the Tuesday before Thanksgiving at Martin Luther King Junior High School in Cleveland.

The event was organized by Cleveland Metropolitan's School District's own Kasey Morgan, and what a fabulous event it was! Over two hundred young girls were treated to workshops on health and wellness, making good decisions, alcohol and drug prevention, preganacy prevention and so much more. Mothers and guardians attended as well, and heard presentations from local programs such as Tapestry, Windsor Laurelwood, No Return and representatives from CMSD. The event was culminated with a heart-warming, inspiring and passionate presentation by Cleveland's own Yvonne Pointer , who shared her personal story of turning tragedy into triumph. The entire auditorium was moved, girls and women were engaged, and it was obvious that every girl and woman in the room made a "heart" connection. I took my mom, my mother-in-law and my two daughters, and we had a great time bonding with so many other women and girls.

Witnessing the "Girl Power" event last week brought home the fact that, while women typically "keep" our friends and family, we can still do more to "keep" women and girls that aren't in our immediate circle. Much has been written lately about the terrible ways that women treat each other. In the August 2009 issue of ESSENCE magazine, Kierna Mayo examines why other Black women are often our worst enemies and how we can put aside jealousies to love, support, and affirm our sisters. Mayo vividly describes the reality for some sisters who spend years embroiled in never-ending drama with other Black women. Mayo writes about a woman she calles Nikia Macklin: "Whenever she walked into a room full of sisters, she could feel the negative energy. Who's she looking at? was her mantra. And she wasn't alone. Starting as far back as junior high school and lasting well into adulthood, Macklin rolled with a crew of girlfriends who would set it off anywhere, on anyone. Confrontations spilled over into her professional life, and it wasn't until she was in her thirties that she realized that she was projecting all the stuff going on inside of herself onto nearly every other woman she met."

Unfortunately, this type of "bad behavior" knows no color, and women of other races share similar stories of jealousy, insecurity and downright hate. There are plenty of us who don't treat our fellow sisters this way, and most of our encounters don't turn into verbal or physical confrontations. The events and acts I refered to earlier support the fact that many of us regularly engage in "sister keeping". Then, of course, there's the other extreme where some sisters spend so much time keeping others, that they don't take care of themselves (I'm not an advocate of this side either). While there must be balance in our sister keeping, most of us will admit that there is still more that we can do...for each other and for the young women who look to us as examples.

So, here is a challenge for you this week: pick a day and don't gossip or complain about another woman or girl. Instead make it your mission that day to support another sister you don't know (pick a young sister and one your age or older). Be intentional about it, even if you have to write yourself a reminder note. Compliment her, smile at her, speak an encouraging word to her, allow her to get in front of you at the grocery store, share your story, buy something you like and give it to her (yes, give it away to another sister you don't know). If you're feeling like you're the one who needs the compliment, the smile, the encouraging word, the gift, etc...then it means you really need to do this for someone else. Because at the end of the day, we get what we give...so why not give to another woman today? Afterall, we are our sister's keeper!

Scatter wisdom, peace and joy........D