Is it About Me?

Praise God for blogging...I think! This is my first blog entry and a representation of me at a new level (whether it's a higher level remains to be seen). My cousin/sister suggested that I blog a year ago, when I told her that I was having cold feet about finally self-publishing the book I had written called: "True Sisters Speak: Voices from the Sisterhood on Healing and Living". This "book" has been sitting on my computer's hard drive for years, and I was ready - or so I thought- to give it to the world (or at least to my fellow sisters in Ohio).

When it came time to make my final payment to the self-publishing book house, I froze. I found every excuse in the world not to send that check; we didn't have the money; what would my husband think; what would my mother think; what would my so-called "sisters" think? I asked every question except, "what would I think"? I had already asked God what He thought, and he gave me a clear answer: "Do what I have called you to do; do it in my name; do it from the heart and do it with excellence! You see, God and I have many conversations, and He speaks to me just like I speak to Him - sometimes quietly, sometimes loudly, sometimes boldly and sometimes not at all. But Jehovah God was clear about publishing this book, and I didn't do it.

So, I asked myself: "Is it really about helping my sisters heal and live, or is it really about me?" The answer came swiftly, and cut my heart like a double-edge sword. It was all about me, and all of my insecurities, all of my doubts, all of my fears, and all about me still caring too much what others think of me. I was not ready to make that final payment because making it would mean that I was one step closer to exposing myself to others, being transparent and lifting the veil of secrecy that I've worn for all of these years. I was clearly not ready - and that was ok with God, so it is now ok with me.

So now I am ready to expose myself, to be transparent, to lift that veil on this blog...because I have finally learned that it IS NOT ABOUT ME AT All! It is all about God, and for me it is also about my Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ. So with this new blog, I share my heart with you; I share my soul; I share the very essence of me - the me who is a true daughter of God, saved, sactified and holy-spirit filled. Because at the end of the day...it is no longer about me. It is all about God. My prayer is that you are blessed, healed and truly live...in the name of Christ. To Him be the glory in all things!

Scatter Wisdom, Peace and Joy...

Denise